Litio

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10:33 pm: DIBUJOS DE NIÑOS: NO, NO SON MONOS
Un tipo se ha hartado de tanta caída de babas en su oficina con los dibujitos esos con los que los retoños de los compañeros les obsequian (en vez de con regalos de verdad), y los ha fotografiado para a continuación examinarlos con ojo crítico. Éste es el resultado:


If you work in an office with lots of people, chances are that you work with a person who hangs pictures up that their kids have drawn. The pictures are always of some stupid flower or a tree with wheels. These pictures suck; I could draw pictures much better. In fact, I can spell, do math and run faster than your kids. So being that my skills are obviously superior to those of children, I've taken the liberty to judge art work done by other kids on the internet. I'll be assigning a grade A through F for each piece:…




First of all, I’ve ridden a lot of bikes in my time, but I’ve never, ever seen one with 874 spokes on it.
I hope you never become an engineer.
And what’s with the kid on the bike? Yeah, that one with the sword sticking out of his body.
Is he riding to the hospital?
And where the hell is his other leg? Did it just magically disappear?
 Maybe it got caught in one of those god-forsaken spokes and was ripped off.
GRADE: F




OK Rupert, I’m going to be easy on you, since you’re probably retarded
and can’t draw a logical picture to save your life.
First of all, what’s with that yellow pee monster attacking that goofy girl?
Yeah, you know who I’m talking about.
That girl impaled on both sides with daggers.
Is she scared of the creature or the fact that the sun appears to be ovulating?
And who’s that creepy, tall green-headed man on the right? David Banner?
Maybe he’s there to investigate why this girl seems to have a darker moustache than most teenage boys.
GRADE: F




It’s a bird. It’s a plane. No, it’s a flying tampon with whiskers. What in God’s name is that thing? A ghost?
By the way, nice running shoes, Forrest.
They look like two severed bird heads which you stepped on while running away from the Kotex Monster.
Notice how the sun is smiling away, like all is happy and joyful in the world….
while this kid with 7 fingers on one hand and 4 on the other is running for his life.
And what’s with the hair man?
Is that a new style, or is your head smoldering from being in such close proximity to the sun?
GRADE: F




You spelled America wrong asshole.
Also, I could have sworn America's colors were red, white and blue.
There's no yellow anywhere, traitor.
GRADE: F




Holy shit, I almost had a seizure when I saw this one.
Three words: too many colors.
Also, eggs aren’t supposed to have ears, dipshit.
GRADE: F




Ding Ding! Here comes the shit-mobile. I've never seen a fire truck that needed to be shaved.
I would rather be burned to death than be saved by this hairy piece of crap.
GRADE: F




That's interesting, everyone in this picture is white. Even the rainbow is white.
Perhaps in an ideal world, everyone would be white isn't that right, Rachel?
Or should I call you RACIST? Nice try, Hitler.
GRADE: F




Ths was a Christmas gift from Kelly to her parents.
Good job Kelly, now pack up your shit and find a foster home.
If my kids tried to pass this off as a gift, they'd come home from school and find
all their shit outside in a box. What a lousy gift, seriously.
You give them video games and toys, and they give you some half-assed drawing with a crooked tree.
I wonder how much a gift like this would set someone back.
Five, maybe ten minutes to find a napkin and some markers?
GRADE: F


Oh baby!

Comments

[User Picture]
From:[info]lost_labyrinth
Date:October 21st, 2007 09:12 pm (UTC)
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¡Juas! Si lo oyeran los renacuajos crearía un montón de futuros adictos a psicoterapia (incluso algún que otro psicopatilla)
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From:[info]litio
Date:October 22nd, 2007 10:34 am (UTC)
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Yo dejé de dibujar con seis años porque me frustraba enormemente no lograr la perfección (aunque mi madre dijera que dibujaba muy bien). Pero es que con una madre pintora y un hermano dibujante de cómics es terriiiiblemente fácil sentirse frustrada. Hoy en día pinto con palotes.
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From:[info]lost_labyrinth
Date:October 22nd, 2007 04:34 pm (UTC)
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Joder, pues no está la bolsa de talentos nacionales como para ir desaprovechándose, mujer. De todos modos, tú ponte a escribir, a ver si le pegas un patadón en el culo a la Echevarría y demás fauna comemocos (lo siento si te gusta la Luci, pero no la soporto xD)
[User Picture]
From:[info]litio
Date:October 23rd, 2007 09:22 am (UTC)
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Uf, ni me la mentes, que no la trago. La vi en el aeropuerto con su hija, y parecían dos trolls, qué criaturas más feas y desagradables (la niña es aún pequeña y ya tiene cara de prepotente e insufrible...).
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From:[info]aranluc
Date:October 22nd, 2007 12:49 am (UTC)
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Que mala fostia... y como me he reido XD
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From:[info]litio
Date:October 22nd, 2007 10:36 am (UTC)
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¡Vamos a ir al infierno!
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From:[info]erick_sonic_x
Date:October 22nd, 2007 02:36 am (UTC)
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El primer dibujo y el 7mo me gustan. Si tuviera un grupo musical, hasta los usaría como carátula para algún disco XD
[User Picture]
From:[info]litio
Date:October 22nd, 2007 10:37 am (UTC)
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Y habría un par de niños que no veas lo que presumirían en el cole :-)
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From:[info]dr_silberman
Date:October 22nd, 2007 07:08 am (UTC)
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Glorioso.
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From:[info]litio
Date:October 22nd, 2007 10:37 am (UTC)
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Glorificioso. Y eso que no lo he comentado yo...
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From:[info]iribarneber
Date:October 22nd, 2007 08:57 am (UTC)
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Son coma las ilustraciones que pongo yo de artistas consagrados....

Ya recibo mensajes, pero aun no me funciona bien porque no me ha entrado ninguno tuyo.... ^_^
[User Picture]
From:[info]litio
Date:October 22nd, 2007 10:38 am (UTC)
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La Chien esta me gusta un montón, ya la conocía de antes. La verdad es que me encantan los ilustradores de cuentos para niños, me parece un trabajo maravilloso.
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From:[info]iribarneber
Date:October 22nd, 2007 10:43 am (UTC)
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Pues yo debo ser como un niño, porque me quedo abobado mirandolas. Ya sabes lo del circulo: Nada-bebé-niño-bulto-maduro-viejo-nada
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From:[info]lluernlalia
Date:October 22nd, 2007 09:45 am (UTC)
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El tampón fantasma volador es genial.
(Iría a coger mis apuntes de creatividad-y-arte-infantil para reexplicar los dibujos pero me da pereza :D)
Aquí la versión viviente de dibujos de niños:
http://www.yeondoojung.com/project.html
[User Picture]
From:[info]litio
Date:October 22nd, 2007 10:39 am (UTC)
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¡Son geniales! Pero aquí me temo que no puedo hacer capturas de pantalla porque este ordenador ES UNA PATATA. En casa lo enlazo ;-)
[User Picture]
From:[info]txapulin
Date:November 22nd, 2007 02:33 pm (UTC)

Valga como pingback, o trackback o lo que sea...

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